Reconnecting with my Inner Teenager: Taking a GCSE at the age of 41

This spring I did something that made me feel like a 16 year old again. I sat a GCSE exam.

I only did one subject that had only two written papers. Most secondary school leavers tackle about 10 subjects, with multiple papers, practical work, oral tests and projects. My subject? Sanskrit.

Sanskrit has always fascinated me—it’s a classical language that shaped much of India’s spiritual and cultural heritage. We still use it today in prayers, however the language structure is also extremely logical. As a mathematician I loved this - yes, a mathematically inclined mind that loves a language that is not for programming!

Over the preceding two years, (on and off) I studied Sanskrit to GCSE level with Dr Rishi Handa. It was meant to be a one-year course, but life got in the way. I dropped out in the middle of the first year when I fell way behind due to some other big project commitments (outside of work and family). The convenience of online classes is a double-edged sword. With classes being recorded and “catch-up-able”, keeping discipline was harder and “I will watch it later” never happens!

The second time around I stuck with it and took the exam. But this wasn’t just a box ticking exercise, it turned into a rediscovery of ancient ideas and, surprisingly, a reminder of my love of writing!

Relearning Ancient Philosophy

As part of this course, we had to learn a bit about the philosophy of the ancient civilisation that developed and used Sanskrit. I’ve grown up learning about hindu philosophy so this was no great ask for me, but it was interesting to revisit these ideas from a purely academic standpoint.

The second paper Literature and Epic Civilisation included an essay question (to be written in English!). Many of the students in the class hadn’t written essays for years as we were all adults (at 41 years old I was actually the baby of the class!).

Our teacher offered some sage advice:

“Don't go crazy with the essay question. It's only 100 words and is worth 10 marks. Often it’s about a list of four or five things. So it's pretty much going to be one mark for naming each item, and one mark for describing it. Then one or two marks for any sensible discussion or argument.”

The Essay Question

In our exam the essay question I chose (you get a choice of two) was about the different types of yajña (sacrifice - but more on this at the end of the post) and their relevance today.

There are five of these sacrifices. For the first item, I wrote its name, a sentence about what it literally means. And then decided to write about how whilst the specific rituals around this yajña may not hold much value today the principle behind them is still relevant. I also included an explanation of how application of the principle would look like in the modern day.

“Great” I thought, “One down, four to go.” 

But I looked up and realised I had already written 99 words!

I wasn’t pressed for time, and there was a final comprehension question based on a Sanskrit text that we had already studied. So I decided to repeat the pattern of my answer for all the other sacrifices. By the end of 5 paragraphs and a conclusion, I had written about 600 words in all. I decided to add a light-hearted apology to the examiner for exceeding the word count!

The Joy of Writing Under Pressure

Seeing what I had written reminded me how much I enjoy writing - and how rarely I manage to make time for it! At home when I find some time I often get hit by this two way panic that “This may be my one chance to really get into writing something before life gets in the way again then it may be weeks before I come back to it” vs “Ah it’s not like it’s an exam, if I do start something I can carry on next time”. So usually those sessions end up being about brainstorming ideas for what to write - without actually getting any words down.

But in the focused, time-bound conditions of an exam, I found a different kind of freedom. There were no distractions, no excuses, and no time to second-guess myself. I just wrote. And I loved it.

Reflecting on this experience, I realise it wasn’t just about Sanskrit or taking an exam. It was about rediscovering the joy of learning, the focus that comes with constraints, and the surprising satisfaction of seeing something through—even when life gets busy.

Whilst the writing wasn’t polished, I liked what I wrote. So I have (admittedly over the last 6 months!) made time to rewrite a more polished version of my essay. If you’re curious about what yajñas are, it’s about 2,000 words and available here.